Opposite of blown-up

E found a deflated ball at H's school. He said, "It's blown-down!"

“I want to give you a hug...

...but after I put on my pull ups because I don't want to touch you with my privates. And my penis is in the front."

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Bees

E: That's syrup.
M: No, it's honey. Bees make it.
E: Bees make it for us?
M: ... No, they make it for themselves and then we steal it.
E: They wanna come in there and eat it.

Sugar addict

E: Can I please have more fruit snacks?
M: No, you already had one pack today.
E: Just one more and I'm going to be done, I promise.

Knock Knock

E: Knock, knock.
M: Who's there?
E: Pineapple.
M: Pineapple who?
E: Pineapple in your mouth. That's a dark joke, for you and daddy.

What you can say at school

"At school we say 'what the what?' Because we can't say 'what the heck?' You say that in jail."

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Gems from today

"I'm dancing to you with a bana."
"I will karate her in a trash can."

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