Election thoughts

I want to elect Donald Trump into office jail. Where he has to do paperwork.

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On Halloween night

 E: How many days until Christmas?

M: Ok, Google, how many days until Christmas?

Google: 55 days until Christmas in Merion.

E: How many hours is that?

Library magic

Elliot's been into folding paper airplanes at school during "quiet time." He's even been folding them for friends who "pay" him back with drawings. It's so sweet.

This weekend he confessed, "I don't really know how to fold GOOD paper airplanes." And I suggested the library might have a book on it. He didn't want to wait to go to the school library, so after soccer I took him, still in his cleats and shin guards, to Bala Cynwyd library with his card.

With my prompting, he walked right up to the children's librarian and announced, "I'm looking for a book about folding paper airplanes." She said, "Let's see what we can do." She searched the computer and wrote down a call number on a slip of paper which she handed to him. She pointed him toward the non-fiction section, saying, "Here's where we keep all the books that aren't made up stories." She gave a kid-friendly explanation of the Dewey decimal system and then lead him through the search for his call number. When we made it to the right shelf and I started reading through the titles, finally getting to "Your first book of paper airplanes," he exclaimed, "That's it! That's the one!" I We found a second one, and I asked if he wanted to look for any other books. Nope, he had what he was looking for. He checked them out himself on the computer and carried them to the car.

As soon as he was buckled, he opened the first book and laughed out loud in delight. "Mommy," he said, "There's more than one in here!"

I wish I could bottle this memory to share with him when he gets older, but the sheer joy that the library would have just what he was looking for was beautiful to watch.

Soccer

{kids are distracted, not paying attention}

Coach: who wants to play the next game? Raise your hand.

{6 kids raise their hand}

E: I don't even know what the next game is?!

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Moral of the story

I told E a bedtime story about a little boy who so spoke meanly to robots but then learned to be nice to everyone . And towards the end he said, "wait—are you telling me this so I'll think about it and be nice?!"

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Watching rogue one

"In battles you want to make sure you don't die but also really try to save the world."

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Bananas

M: after looking in the trash can and noticing lots of peels "how many bananas did you eat today?"
E: "just four"

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Kissing

During a kissing scene in Solo: A Star Wars Story, E said: "Ewww! It looks like one of them is eating the other's mouth!"

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Stormtroopers

M: They might not like your shirt, little rebel. How are you going to stand up to them?
E: Well, they always miss what they shoot at…

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First thing he say as when he wakes up at uncle Dwight’s house

"It's impossible to walk on lava."

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Heaven

PJ is cooking in the grill.
G: That smells like heaven!
H: What does heaven smell like?
E: Dead bodies.

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Ice cream

We went to Dry Dock at cape May, H ordered peanut butter ripple with marshmallow sauce. E said he would have whatever she got. She double-checked that he knew it was peanut butter ripple, since he doesn't usually eat peanut butter.
After taking a few bites, he admitted, "I don't really like this."
M: "Why did you get it if it was called peanut butter ripple?"
E: "Well, the name doesn't always tell you what's in it."

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Your royal highness

Thirty seconds after requesting seconds:
E: Did I not ask for another piece of pizza?

Thirty seconds after the oven is heated and the next slice is ready:
E: I'm full.

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Help

We come back from swimming at the neighbors' pool. After he changes to his clothes, E comes to the kitchen and says, "where are the plates for dinner?" Still in my suit but starting to prep I say, "I was with you at the pool, how could I possibly have it ready now?" He thinks for a second and says, "how can I help?" And in that instant I think we are doing things right.

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Never married

We leave for our anniversary date,
E: are you going in a date?
T: yes
E: are you going to kiss?
T: yes
E: ew. I'm never getting married.

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Watching M use an atm

Where did your card go?
Is that your secret code?! Why did you tell them?!


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Wedding

To us: "when are you guys going to have a wedding?"

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Hunger

Comes into kitchen at 7:06, an hour after dinner is done:"a little boy can be very hungry."

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I don't think I'm allowed

At Aamiya's for dinner (we told him they were having pizza), and Arshiya brings out ice cream for dessert. E's eyes get really big and he says, "I don't think I'm allowed to eat that, my mom just said we were having pizza."  

What a good boy! Arshiya said she texted me and I said it was ok, so he ate some.

My teacher is officially a mom! Her baby came out!
I wanna see what she looks like when she's not pregnant.

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Things I never thought I’d have to say

"Buddy, please don't chew on the remote control."

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As we leave on a walk today

E: "mommy, what if you and I were married?"



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Inquiring minds

Inquiring minds want to know. E: "what if google farted?"

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Watching a movie

E: "Oh good, there are black people."

#representationmatters

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Questions

 For the rest of my life, can I call you Mamma Mia?

Star Wars episode 5

E: we should put darth Vader in a jail with all bricks everywhere and no windows so he can't choke anyone.

H: I just noticed something. All the fighters and all the bad guys, They're all boys. Girls can be powerful too.

H: Jabba the butt!!

E: those guys are not being proper
M: who?
E: all of them!

E: that strong girl that we saw in the white, she's not the only girl in this!
H: yeah but she doesn't even do any fighting

H: for once, when the girl was about to rescue the boy!

H: (singing): hibernation sickness... makes you a lunatic!

H : oh my god, what is she wearing?!
E: why doesn't she have a shirt on?!

H: why isn't he using the force?!

H: it's a flying boat!
E: it's a boat that flies?! What the heck?!

E: best movie ever!

E: that yoda is ugly, no offense, ugly Yoda!!

H: wait!? He had a crush on his sister?! My mind is blown!

H: this time they made someone in white be the bad guy! Well, except darth Vader, he's black. But if he was grey, that would be equal. Or pink, that would be fun!

E: is this real life?
M: no
E: I thought so. The force isn't real.

H: I love the chipmunks!
M: they're called Ewoks
H: I know

E: Luke is nice! Why are they trying to toast him?!

H: at least he's the main course and not dessert!

H: that bear was trying to kiss r2d2! He doesn't even have a mouth!

E: it's good that you didn't die when I was very little. Because I don't have a very good memory.

About darth Vader: E: I think it's because that he has a small heart, not a big one. But why!?

E: what happens in space if you put popcorn in it?

H: two hamsters in suits and one guy not doing anything can defeat an army

E: where is he? He's not dead, right?
H: he's in heaven

E: I never betrayed you, or you mommy, or you daddy. I never even betrayed this house.

E: why is he called Luke skywalker? Does he walk on the sky?

When Vader takes his mask off
E: how old is he?

E: why are they celebrating when it's a sad ending?

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Healthy

E: It's a good thing I ate that carrot one time.
M: why?
E: because they're healthy.

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Watching Star Wars

E: will there be any good parts in this?
E: will the good guys win?

E: hey, there's two suns in that
H: that's what I was gonna say

Luke gets his father's life saber
E: wow!
H: isn't it light saver?

E: why aren't they hot when they're in the desert?

When the guy is questioning Vader
E: that's your boss!

E: I want to ride in that!
H: why is there a close up on the needle when that's not even the most dangerous thing?

"Your droids will have to wait outside. We don't serve their kind here."
H: that's like being racist!

At the cantina, they both crack up. We first see Han Solo, parents say, Do you recognize that guy?
H: elf!

E: jabba the hut is actually wider than you! (To mommy)

H: do you think I could run at light speed?

H: what is that monkey doing?
(About Chewbacca)

H: Did they at least bring any snacks?

H: finally a powerful woman! (When leia shoots them into the trash shoot)

In the garbage shoot:
E: now that is a mess!

H: is anybody on our team going to die?

When leia puts a blanket on Luke
H: is this true love?
E: h, this is sad music!

In the movie: "May the force be with you"
E: I don't know how to do that.

H they don't e end get anything for doing that!

E: Are we going to see his face?
H: Does his mask fall off in an awkward situation?
E: Or does somebody take it off?

H: all they get is a strap with a medal on it? At first I thought it was a belt
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E cheering on H at her math game

E: "You are doing a great job at math and you know this! So that must be right."

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Shower drawing

E draws on the shower door

M: That's a nice bunny, E!

E: <Rolls eyes> It's a snowshoe hare.